This may betray my sentimental shortcomings and gaps in empathy, but.
I find it really strange when I check in on people from my past and find out that they’re still hanging with the same folks, in the same places, doing the same things.
As someone who’s spent the past decade bouncing around to the point where I have absolutely no semblance of home or belonging, the idea of sticking around with the same people for years at a time sounds so foreign that it’s straight up uncomfortable. Now, this isn’t to say that I like maintaining friendships; I love having friends around the world that I can chat with and make plans to visit. The friends that I cherish are ones that I hope to be seeing for years to come, well into old age.
Yet, there are very few of them that I would want to be around constantly, year after year. Not because I have anything against them, but because it would be so challenging to grow and modify myself while surrounded by familiar faces. I would much rather fall out of touch for a few years, then show up for an intense session of reconnection all packed into a whirlwind few days. There’s a nostalgic factor attached to those kinds of rendezvous, along with an openness to accept whatever new factors either of you may be facing.
Could it be that I’m actually the one resisting growth? Is it possible that the real growth happens in maintaining long term relationships, and that I’m taking the easy way out by avoiding conflict and feelings of boredom> It’s an interesting thought. One I very much hope to investigate further soon.
