**Disclaimer: I did write for the past two days, but I decided that not everything needs to be published. Sometimes it’s nice to keep things for ourselves.**
Well, I have my ticket to Love Burn. I have my camp, I have my contacts.
I’m officially going to my first Burn.
If you don’t know what I’m on about, surely you’ve heard of Burning Man. Well, throughout the world are regional burns, where burners get together and do their thing in capacities large and small. Love Burn is the South Florida regional burn, held just outside Miami, and is known for being about as comfortable and cushy as it gets in that world. Flush toilets, hot showers, beachfront property. Close enough to Miami to order Uber Eats if you have a hankering for sushi.
A far cry from 7 days of survival in the desert, but a good way to dip your toes in if you’re a newcomer like myself.
I’ve been lurking on the periphery of Burner circles for years now. It’s always been something that’s intrigued me, yet I always find myself making excuses not to get involved. Money is an easy reason to stay away. It’s expensive, there’s no getting around that. For all the efforts put in to glamorize decommodification, there certainly is a fair amount of shopping to be done beforehand. This, among with some of the other more visible criticisms that are easy to offer from an outside perspective, has kept me at a cautionary distance for years.
There’s also the imposter syndrome. The feeling that I will never be cool enough, never have the right clothes or lingo or demeanor to be one of the Burner folk. I mean, I’ve never even tried ketamine. Surely that excludes me automatically.
Sometimes I like to fall into judgment, labeling people as pretentious as a way of dealing with my insecurity and jealousy. The truth is that I just want to look glamorous and interesting, to be one of the beautiful many with a name given to them in an alternate dimension that exists in the desert for a week every year. I just don’t feel like it suits me.
There are other parts of the lifestyle that suit me just fine. I’m an open-minded creative harboring an inner artistic weirdo who needs a place to come out and shine. I feature a bizarre mix of skills and talents, and can do most practical things to a level of basic competency. There’s no doubt in my mind that, given the right combination of time and resources, I could build an art car or a stage, or run an experience, or whatever.
I just don’t have it in me to maintain an extroverted, out-there pace of life.
I love hanging back and watching from the shadows. It’s my jam. Sometimes I do appreciate attention- at times, I downright crave it. But I like the kind that I feel I have some sort of control over. Intentional attention. Creating a character for the purpose of being looked at, a performance meant to leave an impression.
I do not enjoy the feeling of being watched when I’m trying to relax and explore the world.
My assessment is that these events have the potential to be an immersion in non-stop social media. A world where reality is warped and skewed, where people have the opportunity to be whoever they want to be and sell it loudly to everyone around them with bells and whistles attached. I have my reservations about it, but as with many things, I hope to be proved wrong.
I hope that this turns out to be a lovely experience where I find myself able to unmask and unwind, to be myself and explore authentic connections. Thus far, the people I’ve met have already offered new perspectives and helped me to feel more confident in this venture.
We’ll find out in about 40 days!
